When people say ” The cheapest item after pure
water is sex ” I don’t really dispute this because sex is
everywhere now But men who run after ladies of low
virtue need to realise that sex might be cheap But
love and commitment is not. A virtuous woman is
priceless and worth more than gold, she’s a blessing
to her man and brings softness and beauty to his life,
Show me a successful man and i will tell you there is
a praying and cooperative wife complementing him.
GENTLEMEN, If God has blessed you with a woman
who stays by you through thick and thin, Love you
regardless of what and invest her life in yours. Please
do not let her down by engaging in the cheap sex
saga. discipline and self control is what makes you a
man, say no to marriage and relationship breakers
Who sometimes you don’t even need to stress before
they sleep with you, They are destiny destroyers. Sex
is spiritual, Think twice before you scatter what you
have built for years on the stable of cheap sex………

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Ladies, don’t leave the guy who opened his
heart to you for a guy who spend money
for you. A real woman would never do that. A
real woman would never give in to that kind
temptation. A real woman would never get involved
with another guy while already being
involved with a guy already. Trust me, it isn’t
worth losing the guy who chose you to share
he’s life with over some guy who chose to
sleep with you for the night just for pleasure.
It isn’t worth losing the guy who knows you better
than anyone else does over some guy
who barely knows you well enough to let you
hit it. It isn’t worth losing the guy who has
been with you through thick and thin over
some guy who only wants you when you’re
well-off. Don’t let those players……. make you lose
sight of what’s
important, or else you’ll regret losing the
best thing that’s ever happened to you. Think
about it and act accordingly sis

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Closed Eyes Can See

That’s not a mistake.

It’s a very sound advice.

Most of our doubts are introduced through the
things we see on the outside.

Most of our fears stem from external circumstances
and situations.

How many times have you robbed yourself of the
privilege of a breakthrough simply because you

You allowed the whispers of uncertainty become
a whirlwind that swept you off track and wind you
up in a little corner.

That doesn’t have to be your reality this week.
Deal with doubt. Take that step. Make that move.

There is a popular saying in Latin.
“Fortes fortuna adiuvat”

which means..

Fortunes favours the Bold.

Which furthers translates to good things
come to those who are bold enough to take
the risk.

For a simple solution that will crush your doubts
and lift you to new heights of conviction.

Remember you never win if you don’t try!

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Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start. It’s also a school where
you will never graduate.
It’s a school without a break or a free period.
It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It’s a school you will have to attend every day of your life.
It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
It’s a school founded by God:
1.On the foundation of love.
2.The walls are made out of trust.
3.The door made out of acceptance.
4.The windows made out of understanding
5.The furniture made out of blessings
6.The roof made out of faith.
Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.
God is the only Principal.
Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your assignments for the day.
Never forget the C-word…Communicate.
Communicate to your classmate and to the Principal
If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate.
Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate, God is not finished with him/her yet. So take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way. Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet it’s a school better than any other.
It’s one of the best schools on earth; joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.
Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.
To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse. More grace from God.
Share with all your married friends to encourage them, and to your unmarried friends to counsel and educate them.
Please add your comments, thoughts and contributions, God bless you.

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Man UP

Why u need 2 Man up and chase ur Dreams
1. Talent is given, Greatness is earned
2. Don’t let someone else’s opinion of u become ur reality
3. Listen, Smile, agree and then do whatever u were going 2 do anyway
4. Don’t let a bad day make u feel u have a bad life
5. D person who say something is impossible should nt interupt d person doing it
6. It never 2u late 2 be what u might have been
7. If opportunity does nt knock, build a door
8. D higher u climb d better the view
9. With patience u can even cook a stone
10. Dnt tell me d sky’s limit wen dere is footprint on the moon
11. In life u get wat u put in, everything comes back around
12. If u settle 4 just anything, u will never know wat u re truly worth of
13. Death is not d greatest loss in life, d greatest loss is what dies inside while u are still alive
14. Dream as u will live forever, live as u will die today
15. As long as u are going 2 be thinking, THINK BIG
16. Life is a stage u get only one performance, make it a good one
17. Nothing is impossible, d word itself says I’m possible
18. Dont be afraid 2 give up d good 2 go 4 d great
19. Live is short, live it. love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherished
20. Don’t live ur fears, live ur dreams
21. Everyday is a new beginning, take a deep breathe and start again
22. Begin each day with a grateful heart


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The “Stingy” Church

  • I have a lot in my mind to say but they are so much I don’t know where to start from, but firstly let me say this. I believe so much that the church is the place where we worship our God almighty, and also I see the church as the abode of Gods presence especially when his children gather together in fellowship to the glory of God.
    I have been to several churches right from the day that I was born and there is this one thing I have always sought so well to find but always lacking, to the extent I am begining to wonder if without we can really say we have a church. That thing I am talking about is True Love.
    When the topic: Love is brought to the table of discussion amongst Christians, it is hastened up, people begin to drag their feet, even when some talk,they don’t say the facts to detail but rather they specialize in roaming in circles around the main issue. This is very appalling and so embarassing.
    The main essence of church ” Love and Fellowship” is no longer an important matter anymore.
    When we love, we care , we are concerned about others, we share, we don’t look down on others, we are sincere, its a sign of holiness, we don’t judge, we don’t suspect, we tolerate others, we don’t curse or haul out insults, we encourage, we don’t take advantage of other people, and so on.
    I feel a true church should care less about building structures, and care more about building lives. A true church ought to realize that without the people there is no church and so the people are the church. A true church should care a lot about the welfare of her members by ensuring that none is found wanting in terms of their daily living, lifestyle, economic, spiritual, social and material needs. A true church would see the great commission as a primary and essential factor to her objectives. What am I saying?, In short a true church should be the bedrock or foundation of every individual resonating into a better and a more organized society.
    Is this what we find today in our present day churches? I ask this pertinent question because I feel so much pain within when I see the rot and decadence that decorates our society and immediate environment. I shout! And am forced to assume or would I say conclude that the major cause of our problems today is the Church.
    Though I stand on this premise that there is nothing impossible with God Almighty who knows the end from the beginning.
    Looking at these trend you would find an act that can be well described by the word “Stingy”. What does it mean to be stingy? I would say its the act of not giving easily i.e. being covetous. Not been generous. Ok. Now can we say that the church of today dully obeys the scriptures to the letter when the Bible says it is better to give than to receive? When a member(s) in your church is(are) in need, is the church hasty to help that individual(s)?, as the case may be, or they drag their feet until the need is met somehow from a different source.
    -Pls tell us what’s the situation like in your church and those churches around you.
    -Do share with us your experience if you have and we would learn.
    -Is your church a stingy church? let’s know why you feel so.
    -How can we remedy this situation ravaging churches today and its growth.
    -What role would you play to stem the tide of stinginess in church members and the church as a whole?

Your comments goes a long way to help other people learn and for us all to work in ensuring the best change churches would need to attain greater heights to the glory of God.

Thank you.

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Your game changer

For the new bies… 
You have a target of 20k to stay an agent and your 14days started counting the day you got a welcome mail.. 
For the oldies
You mustn’t so less than 10k monthly so if you are yet to hit that let’s push hard today… 
10k is small..  Go all out 
Use voucher to sway client your way.. 
Strictly agents vouchers 👇 

March Shipping Voucher Alert*
JFORCESHP2ef649 70% off shipping with a minimum basket size of 12,000 for all cities *EXCEPT* Lagos.
JFORCESHP9f1e2c 100% off shipping for all fashion items to PUS and Groceries 
Valid from March 1st- March 31st 2017…
If you think you can then you can… 
Get inspired… 👇 
What do you do that is different?

__Always look for the “game changer” (Part 1).


There is a story told in the legend of modern business about a young man who liked reading books. He would order books by mail order, but being a very avid reader he found that it took too long for the books to arrive. So what did he do? He sat down and designed a new way to get books delivered in the shortest time possible.


His process for ordering and delivering books has turned him into one of the richest people in the world. That young man is Jeff Bezos of Amazon, and he’s now worth over $50bn.


Sometimes the “game changer” comes from the way you deliver your service to the customer!


As an entrepreneur, one of the keys to your success is your continuous search for something that sets you apart, even if you’re in the same business as others. Some of the things that you do don’t have to be technological or highly sophisticated — just different!


And smart!


# What do you do that is different?


It reminds me of a guy who owned a small butcher shop just out of town from where I grew up. Whenever I drove past his shop I noticed there were always a lot of “men” milling around. So, being curious, I stopped and waited in my car to see what was happening.


I soon discovered that this guy used to sell cooked “cows feet,” which were considered by local men as an aphrodisiac! People would come from far and wide to buy his “cows feet.”  I chuckled to myself thinking about what a great entrepreneur he was. Soon he added a little bar and sold cold beer. In no time at all, he was expanding to other parts of the country, strategically adding the “secret source” of his business model!


Now, I am not saying go into that same business! No. I just want you to see the principle: Successful entrepreneurship requires you to be constantly looking for a “game changer,” even in the most mundane of businesses.


# What is your “game changer”?


If someone gives me what I consider to be bad service, I try not to complain. I start thinking if there’s an opportunity for me! I never made money from complaining, but from dealing with frustrations thrown at me!


I find always that I’m at my best, as an entrepreneur, when I’m trying to get over an attempt to frustrate me. Maybe it was because a bank turned me down over a loan, or a regulator refused to give me a license, or a business partner cheated me…


It’s all the same: It spurred me to buckle down and become tenacious, or it made me find an innovation to get round the problem. It must be the same for you!


# A true entrepreneur is never frustrated by anything…


This is how some of the greatest businesses in history came about! 


Is there something that frustrates and irritates you every day? That could be the biggest entrepreneurial opportunity in your life!


 # A true entrepreneur is never frustrated by anything…


It’s not that I don’t want to complain about some things that are done to me, but sometimes I forget to complain because I’m too busy using the opportunity created for me!!!


In life it’s not that we’re not challenged or even frustrated by others, or by the authorities. If you’re going through such a situation yourself, don’t let it get you down… 
Use it to propel you to the next level!

The Disguise 


Pastor Jeremiah Steepek transformed himself into a homeless person and went to the 10,000- member church that he was to be introduced as the head pastor that morning. He walked around the church for 30 minutes while it was filling with people for service in which only 3 people out of the about 10,000 people said hello to him. He asked people for change to buy food – no one in the church gave him change.
He went into the sanctuary to sit down in the front of the church and was asked by the ushers if he would please sit in the back. He greeted people only to be greeted back with stares and dirty looks, with people looking down on him and judging him. As he sat in the back of the church, he listened to the church announcements and such.
When all that was done, the elders went up and were excited to introduce the new pastor of the church to the congregation. “We would like to introduce to you Pastor Jeremiah Steepek.” The congregation looked around clapping with joy and anticipation. 
The homeless man sitting in the back stood up and started walking down the aisle. The clapping stopped with all eyes on him. He walked up the altar and took the microphone from the elders (who were in on this) and paused for a moment then he recited:  “Then the King will say to those on his right,‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him: ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’‘The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
After he recited this, he looked towards the congregation and told them all what he had experienced that morning. Many began to cry and many heads were bowed in shame.  He then said, “Today I see a gathering of people, not a church of Jesus Christ. The world has enough people, but not enough disciples. When will YOU decide to become disciples?

  My lovely brothers and sisters, pls digest this message. God bless u all,🙏


Ladies and Gentlemen
I am here to speak with you on Prostate. The topic is misleading. Is prostate strictly for men? Yes, ONLY men have prostate and ONLY men over 40years but the healthcare enlightenment is for everyone. There is no woman who does not know a man 40 years and above – father, uncle, brother, son, friend, neighbor, colleague.
Essentially what I will be doing today is health promotion. Responsible health promotion must provide three things:
1. Information

2. Reassurance

3. A plan of action.

Let me start with a background on prostate health.

Everyone has a pair of kidneys. The job of the kidney is to remove waste. It is the LAWMA (waste management company) of your body. Everyday your blood passes through the kidney several times to be filtered. As the blood is filtered, urine is formed and stored in a temporary storage tank called the urinary bladder.
If there were to be no urinary bladder, as a man walks on the road, urine will be dropping.

Now think of the plumbing work in your house. Think of the urinary bladder as the overhead storage tank. From the storage tank, a good plumber will run pipes to other parts of the house, including the kitchen. God in His wisdom ran pipes from our urinary bladder to the tip of the penis. The pipe is called the urethra. Just below the bladder and surrounding the urethra is a little organ called the prostate gland.
The prostate gland is the size of a walnut and weighs about 20grams. Its job is to make the seminal fluid which is stored in the seminal vesicle. During sexual intercourse, seminal fluid comes down the urethra and mixes with the sperms produced in the testicles to form the semen. So semen technically is not sperm. It is sperm + seminal fluid. The seminal fluid lubricates the sperm.
After age 40, for reasons that may be hormonal, the prostate gland begins to enlarge. From 20 grams it may grow to almost 100 grams. As it enlarges, it squeezes the urethra and the man begins to notice changes in the way he urinate.
If you have a son under 10, if he has a little mischief like we all did at that age, when he comes out to urinate, he can target the ceiling and the jet will hit target. Call his father to do same, wahala dey. His urine stream is weak, cannot travel a long distance and sometimes may come straight down on his legs. So he may need to stand in awkward position to urinate.
Not many men will be worried their urine stream cannot hit the ceiling. Toilets are on the floor and not on the ceiling. But other symptoms begin to show.

The man begins to notice that after urinating and repacking, urine still drops on his pants. This is the reason why after an older man urinates, he has to ring bell. A younger man simply delivers to the last drop and walks away. Just see an older man coming from the bathroom. Sometimes he may clutch the newspaper closely to hide the urine stains, particularly on plain colored trousers.

At this point you wait longer for the urine flow to start. There are 2 valves that must open for you to urinate – the internal and external sphincters. Both open but because of obstructions in the urethra, you wait long for the flow to start.

You have this feeling immediately after urinating that there is still something left.
As all these things happen, the bladder begins to work harder to compensate for the obstruction in the urethra. The frequency of urination goes up. Urgency sets in. sometimes you have to practically run into the toilet. Nocturia also becomes common. You wake up more than 2 times at night to urinate. Your wife begins to complain.
Men being men may not talk to anyone even at this point. Then the more serious complications start.

Stored urine gets infected and there may be burning sensation when urinating.
Stored urine forms crystals. Crystals come together to form stone either in the bladder or in the kidney. Stones may block the urethra.

Chronic urinary retention sets in. The bladder stores more and more urine. The size of the bladder is 40 – 60 cl. A bottle of coke is 50cl. As the bladder stores more urine it can enlarge up to 300cl. An overfilled bladder may leak and this leads to wetting/urinary incontinence. Also the volume may put pressure on the kidney and may lead to kidney damage.

What may likely bring the man to hospital is acute urinary retention. He wakes up one day and he is not able to pass urine.
Everything I have described above is associated with prostate enlargement, technically called benign prostate hyperplasia.
There are other diseases of the prostate like:

1. Prostatitis – inflammation of the prostate

2. Prostate cancer – cancer of the prostate.
This discussion is on prostate enlargement.
I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that everyman will have prostate enlargement if he lives long enough.

The good news is that there are life style changes that can help the man after 40 to maintain optimum prostate health.

Look at what you eat. 33% of all cancers, according to the US National Cancer Institute is related to what we eat.

Red meat everyday triples your chances of prostate disease. Milk everyday doubles your risk. Not taking fruits / vegetables daily quadruples your risk.
Tomatoes are very good for men. If that is the only thing your wife can present in the evening, eat it with joy. It has loads of lycopene. Lycopene is the most potent natural antioxidant.

Foods that are rich in zinc are also good for men. We recommend pumpkin seeds (ugbogulu).

Zinc is about the most essential element for male sexuality and fertility.
Men need more zinc than women. Every time a man ejaculates he loses 15mg of zinc. Zinc is also important for alcohol metabolism. Your liver needs zinc to metabolize alcohol.

As men begin to have urinary symptoms associated with prostate enlargement, it is important they look at alcohol consumption. More fluid in means more fluid out. 
Drink less. Drink slowly.

Exercise helps build the muscle tone. Every man should exercise. Men over 40 should avoid high impact exercise like jogging. It puts pressure on the knees. Cycling is bad news for the prostate. We recommend brisk walking.

When we sit, two-third of our weight rests on the pelvic bones. Men who sit longer are more prone to prostate symptoms. Do not sit for long hours. Walk around as often as you can. Sit on comfortable chairs. We recommend a divided saddle chair if you must sit long hours.

Men should avoid tight underwear. It impacts circulation around the groin and heats it up a bit. While the physiological temperature is 37 degrees, the groin has an optimal temperature of about 33 degrees. Pant is a no – no for men. Wear boxers.  Wear breathable clothing.

Avoid smoking. It affects blood vessels and impact circulation around the groin.

Regular sex is good for the prostate.
Celibates are more prone to prostate illness. While celibacy is a moral decision, it is not a biological adaptation. Your prostate gland is designed to empty its contents regularly.
Thought: when someone shared something of value with you and benefit from it. You have a moral obligation to share it with others because someone in your friends list might be saved.

Is Sex Food? 

​SEX IS FOOD!!!!!!!read 
Sex is not all about making children. You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Seduce your husband, don’t always allow your husband to ask for Sex, there must be no timetable for sex. Be creative, don’t be predictable. Give him what he wants. If you loose influence over your husband, you have lost womanhood. Be part of your husband plans.

Don’t have too many children, you wanna sell them ? Allow your husband to check in and out anytime.

When a man is sexually satisfied, he is emotionally stable. Stop saying, is it food ? Yes, sex is food !!!

As a wife, try to invest in yourself spiritually so you can adequately support him. Build yourself as his prayer warrior so that you will not be forced to pray at the end of your life. Don’t allow your husband to provide all your needs, he is not a money making machine. Iron sharpens iron, try to reciprocate.

You are meant to support each other spiritually, financially, physically and morally through thick and thin. You are a builder….Wise woman buildeth her home. Women need wisdom to build their homes. Do not be too outspoken, know when to talk, when to listen and when to be quiet.

Love your husband with all your heart, never tell him, if not because of my children, remember you’ve known him before the arrival of those children.

Pamper your husband, put his head on your chest and pray for him. Give him unannounced kiss from the back…. mwahhhhhh, don’t be too holy to kiss in the public. He is your husband for God sake. Be romantic joooo, it is good for the heart. Some people are not happy that you’re happy in that marriage, proof them wrong that you love him and he is your crown, always feel good when you hold him. Don’t look 50 while you’re still under 40, it drives men crazy. Always keep fit regardless of your age or body.
To men:

Do not take a woman who does all these for granted!

Pamper her, pray for her, cherish her, love her, support her financially, make her feel like your woman! God bless us and our marriages.
Happy new year to those happy families and those who wanna have a happy family….

Self Development

1. Make friends with successful people and occasionally buy them gift and surprise them with lunch because successful people always give and hardly get, so when you give them, they value the gift a lot.
2. Get a mentor and follow his instructions and respect the relationship. Never beg your mentor for money or disrespect his or her privacy.
3. Make new positive friends as often as possible and ensure you keep the communication line open. Create a network of friends and not just connections.
4. Show kindness to everyone. Some small boys today will be big boys tomorrow. The biggest dog in the neighborhood was once a puppy. And keep the information/secret to yourself.
5. Always plan ahead and be proactive. He that plans the future work less in the future.
6. Listen to speeches and messages from great teachers. Both religious and educational.
7. Attend seminars and training on any area you need to improve yourself. Train the trainer, personal development, public speaking, sales etc.
8. Have the habit of keeping a pen and a writing pad handy because ideas come in the form of flashes. The smallest pen is bigger and better than the biggest brain.
9. Make sure at every point in time you are reading a book. If you spend 20 minutes reading daily, for 52 weeks you would have consumed 1,000,000 words.
10. Stay away from television as much as possible. You can watch educational channels. Men with big TV sit in front of them to watch men with big library.
11. Put control over your mouth, never say evil of any man, what you are not certain of should not be said. Say good of all men.
12. Always show appreciation for any good deed you received.
13. Always help someone in need.
14. Live a debt free life. What you can’t pay cash for is not your size.
15. Create legitimate multiple source of income.
16. Save at least 10 percent of your income.
17. Invest a portion of your income. And be patient to see it grow. If what you have in your hands is not good to be called a harvest then it’s a seed, sow it.
18. Keep getting better on your daily goals and dream, develop yourself on them and make sure you get to the top 10 % of your industry.
19. Make sure you engage in exercise. It keeps your brain alert and your body fit to enjoy your success.
20. Pray often, and know that for every success,God made it possible.

Wishing you the very best. Happy New Year!!


I am a Success

No matter the Struggles 

I am a Hero

No matter the Tussles

I am a King

No matter the Obstacle’s

I am a Champion 

No matter the Rigours 

I am Priceless

With so much Vigour

Enlarged by real Succour

To be enforced

For conquest in nature 

To be prepared 

For long awaited rapture.

Do you fall in line?

With the fixtures

Of the people

Raged with so much tension

Not to mention

All diverse pressures

Besieged on you

To make a peaceful Change

From previous Shame

To anew Fame

Of eternal Reign.

Lots of crazy Blames

Rests on Shoulders

Of mischievous reasons

Formed by erring Thoughts.

By  SFO.

Fresh Love

​Then after you have married Learn to Maintain Marital intimacy…….

…………. As the marriage gets older.

No matter how old your marriage is….. Pls never allow the marital intimacy you share with your spouse to decline….. Never allow the responsibility of parenting and providing for the family diminish your intimacy….. Make time for each other from time to time outside of your busy schedules…..Intimacy includes but does not end with sex….. Little gestures like smiling frequently at your spouse, giving them a seductive wink from time to time, holding hands, hugging each other as often as you can, kissing, necking, and smooching should be a regular occurrence….. Keep the passion burning strong!!! 
 Guys Abeg carry your wife on your lap often, lift her up and give her a twirl from time to time like you used to do in the days of your courtship, she is still that lovely young woman you fell in love with…… Pay her a lot of attention, notice when she’s wearing something sexy for you, compliment her, be kind and loving to her in your words…..Buy her little gifts often, it doesn’t have to be expensive at all….. We love that!!! Don’t let yourself go….. Look presentable and nice, look after your personal hygiene and your grooming……Wear a nice perfume or cologne….. Try to lose the pot belly…..Endeavour to eat healthy and keep fit…..Take her out on special occasions and sometimes just for the fun of it….. You don’t need a special reason to take your wife out…. Do it just because she is your wife….. Just the both of you…. We love that too!!!
Babes I know what you can do…. Touchy feely things come naturally to us women….. Blow kisses to your Hubby often, twist that waist for him, make him know that his attention still gives you butterflies in your tummy…. Don’t always wait for him to make the first move in bed….. Go to him….. Always use your feminine charms on him….. Hone your romantic and sexual skills….. Maintain an excellent personal hygiene…… Perfumes and scented creams are great……Try not to let yourself go…. Maintain a sexy figure as much as you can despite the toll pregnancy, child bearing and motherhood takes on our bodies….. Just try Nnem…. I know it’s not easy….. Eat healthy and kept fit too…..Anything that will keep you and your Hubby attracted to each other is worth every effort you make to achieve it….. Be kind to him in your words and also buy him gifts…. Guys are not averse to gifts from their wives o….. Take him out…. Yes, wives can take their husbands out too…..They love it !!!
Remember to tell each other often how much you both appreciate yourselves….. Verbally and physically validate your love and commitment for each other….Always!!! Randomly send out loving text messages as a surprise to your spouse…. “I love you” should be a mantra you recite to your spouse as often as you can….. Say it, mean it, act it!!! 
Model age appropriate levels of intimacy in front of your kids, so that they learn at an early age how this is done….. You would be surprised the wonders that does for them, both now and in the future when they begin to enter into relationships….. It gives them unshakable self esteem and a stable spring board to launch themselves into the world successfully, knowing that their foundation is deep, solid and robust by God’s grace, mercy and favour Amen!!!! 
The value of maintaining marital intimacy can never be over emphasised….. Many couples grew far apart from each other because they got so distracted from each other that they fell out of love with each other simply because they did not maintain marital intimacy….. They end up either treating each other as siblings or they may even degenerate to becoming mere housemates, or worst still they begin to resent each other and begin to look outside for emotional and sexual gratification…. Some end in separation and divorce….. God forbid bad thing Amen….. And all because they lost their intimate way to each other!!! Pls don’t let that happen to your marriage!!! 
God help us all as we strive to maintain great and cosy intimacy in our marriages Amen!!!


Ben Murray-Bruce and the Glamour of Favour.

~ Pius Adesanmi.

A national teachable moment happened recently on Twitter between Senator Ben Murray-Bruce, Nigeria’s Area Father Plenipotentiary of commonsense, and Mrs. Oby Ezekwesili, who needs no introduction. There is a background to that Twitter spat that most commentators have not critically examined. The said background is wholly rooted in the tragedy of our collective definition of Nigeria and our stubborn persistence to clinch to an understanding of nationhood and statehood in the 21st century that is inferior to how Askia the Great understood those notions in the late 15th century.

We must sympathise with Ben Murray-Bruce before exploring the background of his spat with Mrs. Ezekwesili. These are not the best of times to be Ben Murray-Bruce. The Bayelsa Senator is finding out in a very harsh way that it is impossible to be a national crusader for ethics, morality, and commonsense from the belly of the cesspool that is Nigeria’s National Assembly. Nigeria’s NASS is one of the most corrupt and irredeemable political institutions ever to bestride the African continent. In the two chambers of NASS are the most execrable African humanoids. As Senator Ben Murray-Bruce is finding out, nothing good can come out of the Nigerian National Assembly.

NASS is constitutionally and statutorily set up to be a crematorium of good and great intentions; an unforgiving grave yard for the angelic reputation. Consider the example of Ben Murray-Bruce’s commonsense crusade. It is crumbling under the weight of its own contradictions for a very simple reason: when you are a member of Nigeria’s National Assembly, commonsense is the very first victim of your situation. You may be honest; you may not have stolen a dime (very unlikely though); you may not have rigged your election, however, your legitimate earnings, allowances, and sundry perks put you above the pay grade of Barack Obama. Does this make sense? No, it doesn’t.

Your legitimate pay puts you above the pay grade of parliamentarians and congressmen and women in any part of the developed world. Yet, they do much more work than you and are answerable to constituents who are citizens in full civic sentience and will therefore not tolerate the rubbish that Nigerians take from you. You are basically the highest paid parliamentarian in the world and you put in the least hours for your constituents. Even the hours you put in are useless for being a Senator or a Rep does not require any cerebral effort from you in Nigeria. You need no intellect to be in NASS. You just wear your agbada and go and yawn and sleep for a few hours every day and watch your account swell every day. Does this make sense?

To be in the position to talk about commonsense at all, our friend from Bayelsa would have to remove the speck in his own eyes. That speck is where the context from which he connects daily with Nigerians. That speck, NASS, is wholly corrupt and indolent. That speck, NASS, is Nigeria’s greatest theatre of legitimate corruption by legislating immoral and amoral allowances which defy commonsense.

Has the Senator done anything about this speck beyond the perfunctory inaudible noise? No, he hasn’t and I do not expect him to. I am just trying to show him the inherent contradictions of his situation. That is why he is salving his conscience by promising Osun workers a cut and riding Okada from time to time to distribute pure water and Tetmosol to his constituents in line with the loot trickle down philosophy of Nigerian politicians.

You will notice that I have concerned myself only with the legitimate earnings of our Bayelsa friend which automatically exclude him and anyone in NASS from being in the same bracket with commonsense. Whatever is legitimate about him disqualifies him from being a spokesperson for commonsense for that role cannot be anchored from within the existential contradictions and ironies of NASS. NASS is antithetical to commonsense. NASS negates commonsense. You cannot crusade for commonsense on the platform of its existential negation.

Now, we all know that the part of the role and functions of a NASS member which devolves from legitimacy is less than five percent. The remaining 95 percent space in your life as a Senator or a Rep is occupied by everything we associate with politicians and government officials in Nigeria: corruption, patronage, and prebendal avarice. If the five percent that is even legitimate about you and NASS stand commonsense on its head, what does that make of the remaining 95 percent which falls in the province of the Nigerian way?

The second part of Senator Ben Murray-Bruce’s problem is the mediocrity of his context. He wants to be seen as Nigeria’s answer to Barack Obama, Justin Trudeau, and co: an urbane and cosmopolitan politician powered by 21st century cutting-edge ideas and ideals. Yet, as someone famously puts it on Twitter, his Obanikoro predilections are in tandem with the overall Baba Suwe level of his peers in the Senate. Hence, his attempt at cosmopolitanism are constantly overwhelmed by the prelogical mentality of the Orangutans who dominate the two Chambers.

This is why Senator Ben-Murray Bruce is heehawing for commonsense from the platform of a National Assembly where the predominant opinion is that granting gender equality to women in marriage will make of them lesbians and prostitutes in the 21st century! And the same week they emit these pre-Medieval ideas, they go on a spending spree like demented demons, buying jeeps in an orgy of spending which defies commonsense and the only thing we have heard from the commonsense Chief Priest is the feeble noise that he did not accept his. By the way, I saw a photo-op of Senator Shehu Sani with his own jeep. This is the man donating donkeys and camels to his constitutents. May Sango thunder Shehu Sani’s jeep!

It is in the context of all this turbulence on the commonsense front, when the Area Father of Commonsense, had wisely crawled underground to contemplate the ruins of his crusade – ruined by tragic contradictions – that Mrs. Oby Ezekwesili decided to call him out. The wounded Senator, a master of the knockout repartee, promptly advised the Bring Back Our Girls crusader to occupy her own Senator and stop bugging him. You are making your own Senator lazy by focusing on me, he opined.

On the surface, Senator Ben Murray-Bruce’s response to Mrs. Ezekwesili would appear to be a brilliant uppercut. I was even tempted to think that Mrs. Ezekwesili deserved it for not allowing a man to mourn the ironies and contradictions of his doomed commonsense crusade in peace. Doomed not because Nigeria does not stand in desperate need of commonsense but by the contradictions and hypocrisy attendant upon the Senator’s context and platform: right message, wrong bearer, diseased platform. However, if you look at it closely, the Senator’s response is silly and irresponsible. A man who has spent an entire year trying to curate a national image for himself as a pan-Nigerian spokesperson of commonsense is suddenly scurrying under the cover of representing only his constituents in the National Assembly when called out on the very basis of his own national crusade! Mrs. Ezekwesili made it clear that she was calling him out on the basis of what he has been projecting. Has he ever projected or given the slightest hint that his crusade was exclusively addressed to his constituents?

This is part of the hypocrisy that has undone Ben Murray-Bruce’s crusade. We must also advise him that it is called the National Assembly for a reason. If he wants to be answerable exclusively to his constituents, he is welcome to go to the Bayelsa House of Assembly – if Mama Peace approves of such a move. In Abuja, the laws and bills you are making (or not making as is the usual case) have a national purview. Besides, not all of us have Senators representing us. In my own case, Senator Dino Melaye has made it clear that he is representing only Senator Bukola Saraki in the Senate till death does them part. Okun people have no Senator currently representing them so don’t tell me to call my Senator. At any rate, I’d sooner call the boss, Saraki, than call his self-styled slave, Dino Melaye.

There is a second aspect to the exchange between Senator Ben Murray-Bruce and Mrs. Ezekwesili. There is a certain patronising and condescending tone in the Senator’s responses. You’d be right to surmise that he believes he is doing her a favour by even responding at all. This brings me to my earlier point about our tragic understanding and definition of Nigeria. We define and understand Nigeria as a chaotic association of favour doers and recipients of favour. It is not an accident that Nigerian Pentecostals constantly disturb God with endless requests for uncommon favour. They are taking to the spiritual domain how they have been shaped and defined by Nigeria.

We have conceptualised the social contract as a terrain of favour-doing in Nigeria. Nobody does anything for you because it is their duty and obligation. Rather, every secular transaction in Nigeria is a favour done for you by somebody drawing a salary to do precisely that task. Every Nigerian politician, from the president down to the local government chairman, considers every aspect of what he or she is elected to do a favour rendered to the people.

That is why your politician tars a road, digs a borehole, builds a gada or a culvert or a gutter and his aides gut the airwaves with noise demanding acknowledgement and appreciation from the people for the uncommon favour. This national mental malaise is not limited to politicians. Interactions among the ordinary people is also subject to the same affliction with civil servants being the worst culprits. There is no service you receive in any office in Nigeria that is not conceptualised as a favour by the service provider. Try obtaining any document from a ministry or a local government office in Nigeria. Everyone you come into contact with sees what they are doing in the delivery of that document to you as a favour.

Go to shoprite and the attendant who accepts your money is doing you a favour. Go to Mama Put and Sikira who serves you amala and abula believes she has done you a favour. Go to your ‘forganaisa’ and he doing you a favour by fixing your tire. Go to WAEC or JAMB, they give you your results as a favour. There is no sphere of life that is free from this disease in Nigeria. This is why Ben Murray-Bruce did Oby Ezekwesili a favour by sending her to her Senator. This is why I have done you a favour by writing this.

(Adesanmi is a current affairs/public commentator, and currently Nigerian resident professor at. Carleton University, Canada.)


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